On my wall hangs a canvas depicting a couple hand in hand walking along a beach. The couple is my husband and I and the photo was covertly taken by our daughter who was following along behind us. We were completing a three-day trek in Fiordland on the southern tip of New Zealand’s South Island.

Before you go thinking that we are a super-fit family who make a habit of tackling such adventures, this was our first and last long hike. Our daughter had just graduated from high school, and we decided we would embark on a fun challenge together before she launched into the world of adult independence. I can tell you, there were more tears than fun! We quickly realised how unprepared we were for the rigours of tramping through sinking mud wearing 14kg backpacks. About half an hour into the walk, I seriously considered abandoning the mission. My husband Jeff, ever the encourager, took my backpack and strapped it to his chest while I spent the next hour channelling a more positive frame of mind.

Amusingly, when friends notice the photo, they will often comment that I am carrying the bigger backpack and give Jeff a look of disapproval. In actuality, Jeff redistributed the luggage so that he was carrying all the heavy gear while I carried pillows, sleeping bags, jackets – everything bulky but lightweight. How easy it is to misinterpret what we see and make an incorrect judgement.

We can carry many different loads as we travel through life. Events happen, the burden increases, and we can feel weighed down. We might feel completely overwhelmed or hopeless. The weight of our burden is not obvious to others. That’s why it’s necessary to reach out for help rather than expect that someone will notice our load. Alternatively, you may have a friend who is harbouring a heavy load. Perhaps you’ve noticed their withdrawal, their lack of patience or general unhappiness. Rather than taking it personally, show an interest and take the time to enquire what is happening in their world. Your care will lighten their burden.

Throughout our hike, we each had our own moments of discouragement, and we alternated the role of an encourager. We would look for the distance markers along the way and celebrate our progress. It was fortunate that it was the middle of summer and light till the late hours, as we needed every bit of daylight to reach the camping huts. The park ranger was bemused by us city slickers who asked if we could stay an extra night, as there was no way we could endure consecutive days of agonising hiking. “No-one has ever asked me that before!” was his reply. Know when you need to take a rest, even if others think it strange.

We survived the return hike and actually enjoyed it. A new sense of confidence put a spring in our step. 

 Life is a long hike: pace yourself, look out for others and don’t carry unnecessary burdens.

Linda Gray
 linda@relationshipsanctuary.com.au
 0401 517 243