In 1845 British explorer Sir John Franklin set off from England to find the Northwest passage that would give shipping routes quicker access to the Pacific Ocean. The journey was doomed and for many years the expedition’s fate remained a mystery. The ships were eventually discovered frozen solid in the arctic waters. The men had abandoned ship and attempted to cross land in search of a British outpost. The fate of the Franklin expedition was pieced together through the discovery of their frozen bodies and the journals they kept. They had succumbed to the harsh conditions.

Franklin’s ships had been equipped with every luxury: a library of 1,200 books, hand carved backgammon boards; fine bone china; monogrammed silverware; an organ with programmed music. They had an abundance of luxuries onboard but they neglected to pay attention to those things that would ensure their survival. Their coal supply was sufficient for a meagre twelve days and there was only one lifeboat per ship. The frozen bodies wore clothes suited to a dinner party, totally inappropriate for the Arctic’s harsh conditions. Franklin failed to take into account what was needed to survive conditions that were very different to what he was used to. In order to survive, the expedition needed to leave behind the British lifestyle and adapt to the challenges of a different environment. Instead, the ships were cluttered with what was familiar and little space was left for what was essential for survival and success.
While we might not be pioneer explorers, our life’s journey transitions us through ever changing environments. We struggle most with those transitions when carrying our former mentality on board. Whether the transition is from a single life to a partnership, a childless life to parenting, a married life to suddenly being single again. We can hold on to those things that served us well in the past, failing to realise that they are not serving us well in the new environment. A couple came for counselling who had four young children. They both worked in demanding roles. She was responsible for the bulk of parenting and housework. She had been through some health concerns and was feeling unsupported. She asked for help with the hectic morning routine. His response was that he told her prior to getting married that his gym time was a non-negotiable. He failed to realise that while gym may have been an essential element of his single life it was time to adapt his cargo to fit the needs of his family.
What cargo do you have on board that doesn’t suit your new environment? Routines that no longer fit; habits that undermine your wellbeing; activities that no longer serve your relationship; or outside relationships that compete with quality time your loved ones deserve? Take stock of what is necessary to not only survive but to thrive in your new environment. Adaptability is a key quality not just for pioneers, we all need it to successfully navigate the changes in life.
Linda Gray
linda@relationshipsanctuary.com.au
0401 517 243