My husband and I decided to take advantage of a recent long weekend, taking off for a couple of days to explore our beautiful Scenic Rim. We had an awesome time visiting farms, climbing mountains and checking out overflowing dams. One of our stops was at a camel farm. The camels all had their own names, and each had a unique personality. We had the opportunity to go on a ride.

I was partnered with a curious camel by the name of Curly. The ride was at a very slow pace, but even so, as Curly took off, I was unprepared for the rocking motion. I struggled to find my balance and hung on tight to the saddle. I admitted feeling initial pangs of regret and wondered if I’d be able to hang on for the whole ride. I hoped I wouldn’t be the first farm visitor to fall off, becoming a trampled heap on the ground! Of course, it didn’t take long to adjust to the rocking, and a few minutes later, it had morphed into a relaxing rhythm that was over all too soon.

Most of the new experiences we have in life can be similar to my camel ride with Curly. We start something new with a burst of enthusiasm. However, more often than not, it proves to be very different to our expectations. Doubts creep in, and we wonder if we have made the right choice. We wonder if we should call it quits before we get in too deep. “I’m sorry, Curly. It’s all over. We’re just not compatible – you’re too much of a swinger for me!”

You may well laugh, but the serious side to this is that many relationships fail because of people’s fear that they can’t hold on. They cannot endure the turbulence that comes with the merging of lives and baggage. 

 Of course, the exception is any form of violence, which should not be tolerated in any relationship. 

 Most of our turbulences come because we are out of rhythm with one another and sometimes out of rhythm within ourselves. A close relationship guarantees to expose our insecurities.

Every couple relationship is made up of two individuals who are scathed by life’s experiences. Attempts at journeying together, like Curly and me, tend to get rocky. We can choose one of three options. The first is to abandon ship – there are plenty of camels out there, right? Alternatively, we can add to the turbulence and bounce around in our own camel race, repeatedly steering in perpetual circles. The best option, however, is to ask: “What is this turbulence about?” If partners are willing to be vulnerable with one another and create an environment where they feel safe to share their anxieties and longings, together they can explore the source of the turbulence. Relationships like this shining light on our blind spots, providing opportunities for personal growth. You can then find your unique rhythm and enjoy the ride together.

Linda Gray
 linda@relationshipsanctuary.com.au
 0401 517 243