Column: Relationships - FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION

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Column

01-10-2020

The second principle espoused by the Gottman foundation is Nurturing Your Fondness and Admiration. It may seem ridiculously obvious to say that people who are happy in their relationship like each other. However, fondness and admiration can be fragile if you are not aware how crucial they are to the core of your relationship.
Fondness and admiration drive the early stage of romantic relationships, known as the limerence stage. The limerence phase is marked by infatuation, fun, strong sexual attraction and hope. In this phase, which researchers discovered lasts about two years, we tend to suspend judgement and ignore and forgive things easily. Once limerence expires, the real work of love begins. Romantic attraction wanes and our love is forced to evolve into something more resolute as we see our relationship in a more realistic light.
In the light of reality, we may, over time, replace our rose coloured glasses with dark, smudgy lenses. I once heard a story about a prying neighbour who would look out her kit

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