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25-03-2021
Column: Relationships - SELF-COMPASSION
Column: Relationships - SELF-COMPASSION
What makes us like this? Sometimes we have misconceptions that self-compassion is selfish. We think that if we spend time and energy being kind and caring toward ourselves, we will somehow neglect others. The opposite is true. Think about times you have been absorbed in self-criticism. In those moments are you self-focussed or other-focussed?
When we fall into self-judgement, we tend to have less resources we can draw on in showing compassion for others. Being kind to yourself actually equips you with the emotional resources to be kind to others. Think about your closest relationship. If you are indifferent toward yourself and rely on your partner to meet your emotional needs, you will react when your needs are not met. However, if you are able to give yourself care and support, you’ll have more emotional resources available to give to your partner.
Self-compassion is different from self-esteem. Self-esteem is a positive evaluation of one’s self. However, self-compassion isn’t an evaluation. Instead, it is a

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