Gottman discovered that successful couples choose to turn toward each other in everyday moments. Seemingly insignificant bids for connection in which we seek the attention and response of our partner are crucial moments. Partners who habitually turn toward each other rather than away are ‘putting money in the bank’. They are building up emotional savings that serve as a cushion when times get tough. Building up your emotional bank account gives you a bank of goodwill that helps you make allowance for one another when conflict arises. There is also a further benefit to turning toward. Hollywood’s view of romance and passion is a myth. Research reveals that real-life romance is not fuelled by being swept off our feet. It is fuelled by the humdrum opportunities when we choose to respond to one another. Think of it as keeping the pilot light burning by staying in touch in little ways. We can turn up the heat with candlelit dinners and romantic getaways