“If you want to go faster, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” African proverb

There wouldn’t be a parent who hasn’t thought that the task they were doing with their child would be so much quicker if they were doing it alone. Training a child in the simplest of tasks requires much patience as well as a willingness to drop one’s standards as to what makes for a good result! Why do we, as parents, put ourselves through the painstaking process of working alongside our kids? Because our focus is not on the short-term benefit of a clean house or a neat yard. Our aim is to mentor and equip the young lives that are under our care. The journey is not a sprint but a marathon set at a pace determined by the keeping-up capacity of the shortest legs.

There are many things we need to do in life that is quicker and less complicated when we do them independently. Some tasks necessitate this. The ability to work independently is an essential skill. But even in our individual pursuits, behind the scenes, another’s input has equipped us along the way. In 1623 John Donne famously wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main”. For every time an athlete achieves a faster record, there is a support system that has made this possible. The brief journey from the starting line to the finish line is completed alone but the long journey to get to that point is a combined effort. To quote Dolly and Kenny, we are islands that rely on each other.

From a career perspective, research has found that those who continue to flourish in their chosen professions refer to the important contribution of a few well-chosen colleagues. Peer support is an important facet of the helping profession where peers meet together to collaborate, support and challenge one another on their work and development. Without collaboration, we cannot create a generative dialogue together. This is a dialogue that listens and explores in a way that generates new understanding, new knowledge and new capabilities.

We live in an increasingly complex, interconnected and interdependent world. Many of our issues and challenges lie not so much in individuals but in the connections between us. When a rupture with another person occurs, going it alone seems an easier option. It may be a quick fix solution, but in the long term, you will be limited in how far you can go. Rupture fixing is an uncomfortable process that involves confrontation, vulnerability and humility. However, it reaps long-term benefits, whether it be with a colleague, family member, neighbour or friend. At some point in your journey, you will encounter a bump in the road where you will appreciate the presence of a travel buddy who can offer a hand up, encouraging you back on track and, likewise, they will appreciate your support.

Linda Gray
 linda@relationshipsanctuary.com.au
 0401 517 243