Several years ago, a friend flew my husband and I out to Chinchilla and back in his six-seater plane. It was quite a learning experience! He used the navigational beacons to plot his flight, pointing them out to us as we flew over them. Up to that point, I had never noticed the beacons strategically placed on top of hills and their relevance remained a mystery. Sitting in that tiny plane as we flew back in the dark, I gained a new appreciation of their importance.

Last week we looked at the importance of staying on track with where you want to head and the person you want to be. Life gives us navigational beacons that support us with this. They come in the form of values. Values are our deepest desires for who we want to be and what we want to stand for. They can guide our behaviour and decision-making and motivate our actions. Living your values brings stability and authenticity to your life, because you know who you are and what you stand for (or won’t stand for). Instead of living with regret, you live with confidence and a sense of purpose. Living in alignment with your values also brings you closer to those around you.

Living consistently by our values is not always easy. In times of stress, trauma, failure, loss or sudden change, we can get out of alignment with our values and our actions can take us a long way off-course. When we’re out of alignment it doesn’t feel great because we recognise we are not our best self. 

 The home environment is often where we let our values slip. Ever been in the middle of a heated argument with your spouse or admonishing your kids and suddenly there is a knock on the door? 

 You open it and are greeted by a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. Hostility and frustration are quickly replaced by affection and hospitality.

Writing down your values can be a helpful step towards living them. By writing them down, we elevate our values to something important, recognising their significance. Allocate each value its own page. Think about what this value means to you and write down a personal definition. 

Defining your values in your own words is a powerful way to connect deeply with what’s most important to you. Next, reflect on times when you have demonstrated this value. Write down the ways you see this value showing up in your life. Begin to think about how you might build on what you are already doing. When it comes to your relationships, what would a consistent life see you doing more of or less of?

Yes, we all have times when we are out of alignment and say or do things we later regret. If you have one of those moments, make things right with the other person and determine to get back to the core of who you are. 

Linda Gray
 linda@relationshipsanctuary.com.au
 0401 517 243