An emerging word has made its way into official dictionaries. Technoference refers to interruptions in human interactions caused by attention paid to personal technological devices. A family is gathered in the living room at the end of a busy day. This is a time for the conversation to flow and for bonds to be strengthened. However, there is no chat. Only pairs of glazed eyes focused on screens all around.

Social media plays an important role in society. When used correctly in a balanced way it is a phenomenal communications tool. Used incorrectly, this good thing becomes a bad thing. In the past decade there have been numerous studies conducted on the impact of mobile technology on family relationships, with parent-child relationships coming under particular scrutiny.
While we might think that today’s teens are the highest users of social media, researchers found that parental social media use was the most problematic factor in family dynamics. The amount of technoference in a parent-child relationship correlated with the child’s behaviour. The more time parents spent on their smartphone, the more the child displayed disruptive and challenging behaviour as the child works harder to draw the parent’s attention from the screen. Children’s development was also impacted by their parent’s screen time habits. More concerning, research found a higher rate of depression in teens whose parents reported high levels of personal social media use. These teens also experienced maladaptive technological behaviours such as cyber-bullying and vulnerability to predators.
With such high stakes for the mental health of teens, there’s never been a better time for parents to be aware of the impact of media habits. Dr Sarah Coyne suggests four things parents can do to create healthy media use patterns for their families.
1. Model healthy media use. Parents set the tone for the media climate in the home. It’s easy to be so focused on a child’s media use that we forget to turn the mirror to ourselves. Being mindful of how and when you use social media helps create healthy media environments at home.
2. Build relationships by limiting technoference. Children value strong connections with parents. Your undivided attention conveys to your child ‘you are important to me’.
3. Help children think critically about their media use. Research found that parents talking to teens about how to evaluate media habits helped protect teens’ mental health. Parents can be proactive in having natural conversations such as ‘What do you like about this social-media platform?’ and being interested in your child’s answer. Such questions can lead to a discussion about media use while reinforcing love for the child.
4. Create balanced guidelines. Research discovered that strict rules around media-use tended to backfire. The highest rates of teen depression were reported by those whose parents had imposed the toughest rules and restrictions. This suggests that parents and children should try to understand each other and implement guidelines that are appropriate for each child and situation.
We all share the responsibility of keeping technoference out of our relationships.
Linda Gray
linda@relationshipsanctuary.com.au
0401 517 243